What Therapy Taught Me About… Leadership
Leadership isn’t just a role — it’s a way of relating.
To your responsibilities.
To your team.
To the pressure.
And crucially — to yourself.
At its best, leadership calls on us to make clear decisions under uncertainty, hold space for others to grow, and maintain direction when things feel unstable.
And yet, so many people in leadership roles — whether they have the title or not — end up running on autopilot.
We often see clients at this point: capable, accomplished, and quietly overwhelmed. They don’t necessarily come to therapy saying, “I need help with leadership.” They come saying:
“I’m exhausted and can’t switch off.”
“I keep questioning my decisions.”
“I’m holding it all together — but just barely.”
A Moment That Changed Everything
One client — let’s call her Sarah — came to therapy with classic signs of high-functioning distress. She was responsible for a team of 30, highly respected in her field, and yet plagued by self-doubt and a constant sense that she wasn’t doing enough.
In therapy, we gently explored where this pressure came from. Not just the job, but the inner rules she was living by: “If I relax, everything will fall apart.” “If I say no, I’m letting people down.”
Over time, we traced those beliefs back to early life experiences where being dependable was the only way she felt safe or valued. Her leadership style — hyper-responsible, self-sacrificing — made perfect sense in that context. But now it was costing her sleep, confidence, and connection.
Through therapy, Sarah didn’t just get better at ‘coping’. She learned to:
Notice the early signs of nervous system overload
Set clearer boundaries without guilt
Regulate anxiety in high-stakes moments
Trust her instincts without second-guessing every move
In short: she began to lead herself, not just others.
Self-Leadership Under Pressure
This is what we mean by the inner work of leadership.
Because no matter how many strategies or frameworks you learn, your internal state shapes every interaction. How you regulate your nervous system. How you respond to conflict. How you manage feedback, failure, or fear.
Therapy offers a space to slow down and ask:
What’s really going on inside the person who’s leading?
Are you operating from clarity or from fear?
Are your decisions aligned with your values — or your survival patterns?
Can you stay grounded when outcomes are uncertain?
It’s not about perfection. It’s about presence.
And it’s not about fixing — it’s about unlearning what’s no longer serving you.
A Leadership Practice to Try
Next time you're under pressure — a tough conversation, a looming decision, a sudden conflict — pause and ask:
“What am I feeling in my body right now?”
“What am I believing about myself in this moment?”
“What does this part of me need?”
That three-step check-in takes less than a minute.
And it changes everything.
Moving Forward
Whether you lead a team, a household, or just your own life — leadership begins with how you relate to yourself under pressure. When therapy works well, it strengthens your capacity to stay connected, clear, and calm in the moments that matter most.
You're not meant to do it all alone.
You're meant to do it well — with support, reflection, and integrity.
If you’re ready to explore your own inner work of leadership, we’d be honoured to support you.
Written by Thomas Hatton
As a psychotherapist, Thomas seeks to empower individuals to overcome their personal challenges and achieve lasting growth. His ideal client is someone who is ready to do the deep inner work required for meaningful change.